Answer this question:
"What's your type?"
You know when you hear those words, people aren’t usually inquiring about your blood type or your favorite font: they are inquiring about your taste in dating. They want to know all the qualities that comprise your dream person, your IDEAL.
Well, if you're not currently in head over heels love, you probably don't know your type. Because you have to be the type, for your type too!
And you're only guessing, based off of fantasies rather than experience, because if it were from experience it would've worked out, right?
Having a super-specific type is how you get stuck in repetitive patterns of toxic, or even simply lackluster, relationships. You go after the same personalities that can clash with your own, or even just people with a certain look who have been not what they seemed. They are ill-fitting.
A type based solely on appearance is never healthy, mostly because it's so specific that you never find it, and you misguidedly compare every person to this vision in your head.
Let me set up a scene for you. You're dating the most beautiful person you've ever met, who looks like their face was grown in the image of your list of most attractive features.
Sounds like Heaven? But wait— they have absolutely nothing in common with you and is a pain in ass to be around.
That would be a deal breaker, right? Looks alone can't make a relationship magical. Of course, it is possible to find someone who fits all your requirements.
However, the main problem with fixating on a "type" is that you ignore how they actually fit with you.
You brush off the ones that might not look the part right way but could make you laugh so hard you almost pee your pants, or who also loves your favorite TV shows, which let's face it, says a lot about a person. After all, we are what we watch.
When it comes to dating, you should have your eyes closed and your heart open. Or your eyes open and your weird fantasies about marrying the prom king or queen on silent.
Your type should be kind, funny, easy to be with and sweet, so when it comes to specifics, it’s best to be as open as possible.
It will expand your options and present types you didn't even know you could want. And let's face it--looks fade, but real love with the right person lasts forever.
So snap out of that dream and the restrictions that are constricting you. Wake up and fall in love.